NBA: Fake Tough Guy Edition

Author

JayBird Talks
September 25, 2024

Listen, I understand that as a player in sports today, you are your own brand. A brand to build, live by, and advertise. Some guys have chosen to take on the tough guy moniker. Some do it so well, like an actor, we believe you. Others we can tell it is completely fake and it is almost as if they try too hard. There are more than three in today’s NBA, but I decided to do the top three guys in the league I think are the most fake tough guys right now. These guys look tough and act tough on the court, but I’ll bet any amount of money that they really couldn’t fight their way out of a wet paper bag, and if they caught you in the street wouldn’t keep that same energy. They’d get absolutely dog walked by anyone with even the slightest bit of toughness.

  1. Draymond Green – The Golden State Warriors player is a reject Dennis Rodman and anyone with a brain can tell he is full of shit, and he is suspended again. I don’t say this lightly. He’s a literal piece of shit. His antics are going to get someone seriously injured one day and that will bring lawsuits beyond repair.

  2. Klay Thompson – The other Golden State Warriors player on this list is actually known to be an even-keeled personality. However, when something does pop off, he tries to get this swagger walk like he’s tough. He looks like a fool and he is the weakest tough guy I’ve ever seen. I got my money on any 8 year old above him. Stop walking like that you goof. You couldn’t fight a cold. He is soft as Charmin and stinks like it’s been a used piece. Get lost weirdo.

  3. Dillon Brooks – The Houston Rockets addition was so useless for his career until towards the end of his time in Memphis realized he had to become a cartoon character to even be remembered by his own parents. Ownership and coaches would keep forgetting who this guy is if he didn’t do something. He’s the dumbest of them all. Nobody is scared of you. Women in a dark alley at night would laugh as they walked by you and wouldn’t even worry about clutching their purse in fear. They’d laugh at you and keep walking.